Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
