he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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