i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
