you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
