Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
