Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
