just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
