I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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