Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
