are you so shy because you have an std?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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