I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
