no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
