So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
