dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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