turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize