dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
Thatβs the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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