every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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