Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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