Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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