Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
