smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
