I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Porn is love you can see.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
