I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
