Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
