love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
