My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
