Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
