Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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