why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
