I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's official drugs can't kill me
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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