It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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