So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I love you.
Bad choice
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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