I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
