the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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