The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
