Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
