oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
