its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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