I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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