I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
