I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
