I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
