it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize