dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
