His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
