I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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