he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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