Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
