Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
