Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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