Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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