"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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