sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
