did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
