ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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