Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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