he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
