I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
