found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
