Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
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He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
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I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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