Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
