My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
