i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
