Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
