My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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