you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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