from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i came on her dog
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
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