Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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