Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The struggles of a small town man whore
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
