My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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